Homozoology: The study of the behavior, structure, physiology, classification, and distribution of gays. The term was recently coined by Guy Social host Jonathan Winkles and has thus become the newest area of study by gay scientists as well as straight scientists who like putting things they don't understand into categories for easy stereotyping.
The Obvious Ones:
Bear: A bear is a gentleman or beast that projects rugged masculinity with broad features and dense hair. They may appear intimidating but when approached with respect, they can be quite cuddly. Habitat: Northern and western mountain rangers in North America, bars titled "The Eagle."
Cub: A younger bear. Simple. Traits of a bear still apply.
Otter: Bears and otters share similarities in hair structure, with otters dense hair patterns on the arms, chest, abs, and legs. They always have more body hair than the average gay creature. Unlike bears, otters poses a more streamline body structure, with more slender, toned features. This allows an otter to swim confidently in the local stream or ocean near a nude beach.
Silver Fox: A draw dropping ratio of sexiness to age defines the silver fox. The other prominent feature is their hair, as silver foxes sport a distinct grey and/or salt-and-pepper color. Some silver foxes also feature toned musculature with chiseled facial bones. Regardless of stature, there's always something about a silver fox that really rustles your jimmies. Habitat: Instagram See also: Anderson Cooper
Wolf: Mysterious and elusive. Not much is known about the wolf in terms of personality. They tend to be lean and toned if not muscular with some hair across the body. However, their enigmatic personality seems to defy categorization (so we gave them one) as they appear to have lots of sex but also study philosophy in their spare time.
Pup: When one looks up at your with his big brown eyes and wiggles his booty, you can't help but go, "awwww." Homosexuals may also pretend to take on the personality of a puppy which begs the question, "Who's a good boy?" Habitat: dog parks and puppy pens.
Queen: The center of attention and the one everyone flocks to for gossip or leadership. She commands respect. A queen the life of the party in both a figurative and literal sense. Her presence at the party keeps things energetic and full of life. A hive needs a queen to maintain population and activity level because in all honestly, if she wasn't there waiting for her time to perform, you'd probably turn in early and watch Netflix.
The Less Obvious Ones:
Twink - Baby Kangaroo. Slightly awkward, naturally hairless, and knobbly, the twink enters this world like a baby kangaroo. Soon they shall embark on a journey of discovery and sexual awakening. Habitat: Wandering around, wide eyed at their new, gay world. Exploiting social media to the fullest extent. Note: some twinks stay in this primary stage for a significant portion of their life, making classification of the species difficult. What would they be? Naked mole rat? Sphynx cat? Dolphin? Then what happens when they workout? Ugh, science is hard.
Twunk - Juvenile Kangaroo. Midstage between a twink and a hunk. Once the twink desires to leave twinkdom, they begin to workout and let their hair grow. Thus, they enter this stand of their Pokemon evolution. Habitat: Gym every other day or so, Australia.
Jock - Kangaroo: The true ones don't skip leg day. Containing muscles you didn't even know existing, the jock is a spectacle of nature. Their muscle density ratio allows for impressive shows of strength like lifting their entire body by their tail. If you piss them off, they will fight you. Habitat: Twice a day at the gym and Australia.
Circuit - Drone: The circuit gays comes by the hundreds of thousands to a singular area, performing ritual dances and performances to communicate with others, similar to their bee counterparts. The hive has many layers and rooms, similar to the homosexual party. Many drones bumbin' in da club flock around the queen bee, the life of the party. Habitat: dark, cramped spaces with sticky substances on the walls and floor, also Fire Island.
Disclaimer: this article is written in jest. These categories do not define the people in which they define. Homozoology is not an exact science. Class dismissed.